"CONFIDENCE" is a cult

Thank you Mina, thank you! I agree with every single thought you shared here. Living in Germany today, yes, I share your anger (14:00). Confidence comes from security. Not everyone has security.

i feel like what a lot of "that girl" movement stuff messes up with why you should be the best version of yourself. for example, doing skin care so others dont think you're lazy vs. doing it for health or to feel good. its a small issue compared to the other ones but that small one made a huge difference for me. then again im a skinny white girl with a small/ wideish hips so that also played a part 🙂

Very well done video. I have a lot of thoughts. I think it’s important to mention how the confidence cult affects the marginalized community of disabled people. As someone with an “invisible” physical disability and mental health disabilities, the job world has been hell.

It’s hard to be disabled and look for work. You are told to disclose at the interview and they are legally not allowed to discriminate against you, but they will.

I applied for a part time retail job and had 6 years of retail/work experience at the time. I decided to be upfront and disclose that I needed to have access to a chair due to my disability (I mean retail jobs really shouldn’t REQUIRE you stand all day, especially if you’re just at a register). Once I disclosed that the tone changed and he avoided telling me that I got the job days later. I had to call them and he passively emailed me days later saying he found “more qualified candidates”.

The average college student worker had less years of work experience than me, so I knew that was BS.

4:57

Reason 1001 we need universal basic income

Please listen to the GOOD ADVICE at 13:00 & ASK FOR MORE WHEN OFFERED A SALARY! It doesn't matter what fantasy one has about how companies "should" run; if you're not willing to advocate for yourself IRL, you're leaving money on the table for the next male (or business savvy female) they hire to snap up instead of you. Or maybe it will go to your boss as a bonus, or to that annoying guy who talks over you in meetings for a mid-year raise he thinks he deserves "just because!" (That's the classic "confidence cult:" male entitlement!)

It is absolute balderdash and unworthy of the usual high standards of this channel to fearmonger unsubstantiated claims like the one around 14:00: "…there are some employers out there who will just not offer you the job if you ask for a salary that's too high." If you've already gotten an offer, that's hogwash! It is NORMAL & EXPECTED to ask for a higher salary after receiving an offer with a proposed number! To repeat: normal & EXPECTED!

You can easily do research on this to prove it yourself. Now, would I put my desired salary on anything BEFORE an offer? No. But that's a different situation. And if they're adamant they can't go higher than the salary they offered, you might be able to get other perks instead (more paid leave, flexible schedule for child pickups, a better title, bonuses for reaching X or Y milestone, etc.).

I was fortunate to have a kind ex-brother-in-law who encouraged me and walked me through this process, and it was STILL uncomfortable for me. But I believe it's worth it as a gender equality issue, and also as a practical form of self-care and self-respect. The thousands of extra dollars I made per year at my last long-term job added up to a LOT over the years I was at the company, and set my salary higher at the next job I applied for, and so on.

It is not an exaggeration to say that over the course of your career, willingness to have these brief, usually less than 5 minute conversations could literally add or subtract tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars to your lifetime earnings!

Ask for what you think your best friend deserves! You can do it!
😀💰👑💰🤑💰

I didn't know what an InstaTherapist was & as you explain I thought it's like horoscopes… and that was your next line.

You look so much like Gigi hadid

A year ago I was so deep into a hole of mental illness that it was either make a drastic change or (to me it felt like) die. I got off social media, started making healthy choices for myself, etc. While it worked for a while, it didn’t save me or cure me. And that’s because we aren’t supposed to be okay constantly. The pressure I have felt since feeling so great from the life changes (and then the comedown after) has been enormous. Because while we can make good choices, life is still unpredictable and we must go through things in order to grow as people. You can’t escape this process no matter how much yoga you do or water you drink! Thank you for this video, I honestly feel as though I have blindly fallen into another trap the internet has set for me and everyone else in the world by believing that I’m still not “there yet” because I’m not 100% confident or happy all the time. That’s just life baby 💋

lol if only you could live this same experience as a feminized male. my wurd. i hate life so much.